subscribe: 
| 
| 
3 Keys To A Good Relationship. Do you Have Them?
Have you ever been in a bad relationship? Are you in one now?
There is nothing worse than being in a bad relationship and there is nothing better than being in a great relationship. But what makes a good relationship from a bad one? Is love needed? There are a plethora of factors influencing how good or bad a relationship can be. Some might say that love is all you need. In my experience, all couples that make things work share three common elements.
TRUST
I know it is a cliche, but without it the relationship will not work. Many people forget how vital this element is in any relationship. Trust is not only associated with loyalty or infidelity. It is all the meaning associated with the word: honesty, compliance, value. Trust is a vital survival skill. From an early age we learn the importance of trusting. We also learn the lessons when we erroneously put too much trust in someone. Trust with a loved one is a relationship of reliance. It’s a one-time agreement between you and your loved one. In good relationships, their trust is seen as full disclosure. There are no games or deceit. There is no conditional trust between them. It is there, it is tangible and in a good relationship, it is protected.
POWER
There are only two situations in our lives when we are willing to give up power. When we submit to a professional (e.g. Doctor or Pilot) and when we love someone. Power is the ability to maintain control of your self-interest at all times. It is being in charge of yourself, and seeking the most beneficial situation. Beware of not confusing it with selfishness. Power is about control, and selfishness is about disregarding others. Good relationships share power. In some instances, one partner is the lead and in other instances, the cheerleader. In good relationships, power is shifted and given between partners. It is not desired and it is not guarded. Giving power to your loved one is “trusting” them to seek your best interest as well.
COMPROMISE
Compromise is the settlement of differences. Many couples struggle with this element. We all are going to disagree with someone at some point or another. Disagreements with mothers, fathers, sons, friends and lovers are not uncommon. What is important is how we react and deal with disagreement. In good relationships, a disagreement is not a battle. They do not see arguments as “winning” and “losing”. In good relationships, compromise is a balance of tolerance and agreements. When people focus in winning an argument all the time, they tend to lose the relationship. Compromise is not about being a doormat. Compromise is about a mutual goal. It’s asking, “What is better for the relationship?”
Good relationships are hard work, but the payout is amazing! Being able to compromise, give power and trust someone is a tall order. That is exactly why it has to be mutually given. When the balance of these elements is not there, a bad relationship is on the way. (See our follow up article about bad relationships)
Now ask yourself… How good is my relationship?
Join Psychbits and be part of our growing community!
Post Image Credit
Leave a Reply
Join Psychbits
About Me
Hi! My name is Roberto Montanez. I have always been curious about the way we do things and how we react to different situations. Even the most mundane things in our lives, I find interesting.
I have a M.S. in Psychology and have worked for a few years in the field of psychology and education. Working with people in the clinical setting and in the classroom has helped me gain a unique view about our world. More >>
For me, it is the trust that core of a relationship.
Check Dana latest post…The First Real Nightmare of Android OS as Open Source Mobile OS
Hey, amazing article. One thing I would like to add is that never act desperate after your breakup in front of your ex. They will think that you can’t take break-up properly and might never get back with youa gain. So get social, act cool and confident and happy. Talk with your ex casually and nicely. No need to talk about your past or anything. Just be normal and if they still like you, they might come back.
Ron,
I can understand your point. Hopefully, by following all three suggested tips, we don’t have to resort to that. Thanks for commenting.
Great post. I’ve worked as a relationship coach and workshop facilitator, so was curious about your take on this subject. (Bryan from Blog Interact pointed me to your site).
Great content! Thanks for sharing this wise perspective.
Check Steve Rice latest post…The Miracle of Your Own Existence
My experience is that when the power is wrong in my relationships out goes the trust to!
Check Phil Tyson latest post…The ‘Extended Mind’ and Chaotic Lives
I like these points, but I definitely think that communication should be included.
We can have trust, honesty, and compromise, but how much you feel or transmit those things to your partner can be hampered if your communication with them is poor.
I would have to agree with Marc on this. Communication should most definitely be included. While I’m sure power and compromising are important factors of a relationship, communication is the corner stone for power and compromising to be a piece of cake in a relationship. If you are in a relationship where one of the individuals does not have the ability to communicate with their partner, then power and compromising becomes a much bigger issue than it should. It’s through communication people courting one another develop a sense of each other’s thoughts about issues regarding who has the power and in what situations. It’s through communication that people make compromising a successful experience in relationships.
I definitely agree about communication. I think that at times we have to learn to communicate. Without BOTH partners communicating, there will not be (healthy) relationship nor room to grow.
You also mentioned compromise, which is another key element for many types of relationships. But that is another topic.
Flowers, thank you for commenting.