A to Z Guide To A Great Relationship

So we all want to achieve, have and maintain a great relationship.  Today we are going to learn our ABC’s of a great relationship with this guide.  I have written an alphabetical list of the most important elements of a great relationship.

My challenge to you is to act on each of the words mentioned below.  You can start by acting on one word a day. In some words, I am including a task that you can use to help your relationship.

• Acknowledge – learn to show and express recognition to your partner.  At times we fail to express how important they are in our life.  Task: Let them know today!

• Bond – The definition of bond is something that binds, fastens, confines, or holds together.  When it comes to your relationship, always maintain that unity. Always look for ways to reinforce the bond.

• Commitment – your relationship is a covenant.  Great relationships are ALL-IN.  Like in life, there is no success if you are halfway in and halfway out.  There is no hedge, “in case this does not work” thinking, etc.  Either you are in a relationship or you are not.  Don’t try to fool yourself.

• Date – Do you have a date night with your loved one?  During the early stages of a new relationship, dating is a staple of their activities.  As the relationship matures the formal dating fizzles out.  Guess what? So does the relationship.  Maintain that spark, by courting your loved one like in the old days.  Task: Schedule a date night for this week.

• Encouragement – Be a facilitator, help your loved one achieve something they have always wanted to do.  There is no greater pleasure than being able to help your loved one achieve a personal goal.  Task: Do a selfless act that will help your partner.

• Friendship – I could have wrote the word “Fun”, but that is what a good friendship is, fun!  When you develop an “even yoke” friendship, there is no resentment.  Great relationships learn to appreciate each other’s company and ultimately their friendship.  If your partner prefers to be with someone else, then beware.

• Gratefulness – All the great things your loved one does for you, it’s because they love you.  In great relationships, partners are grateful of their actions.  Task: Be grateful of all the things your loved one does for you.  Thank them for everything they do.  No matter how menial it may seem to you, a simple and honest “Thank You” goes a long way.  Do it all week long.

• Humbleness – As with the previous one, it is humbling when your loved one genuinely cares for you. Great relationships have no sense of entitlement.

• Intimacy – It is estimated that 15% of U.S. marriages tend to have little to no intimacy.  These “sexless” marriages may be intimate once every 6 to 12 months.  Research has reported that sexless marriages are less happy and have considered divorce more often than other marriages.  Enough said, do you really need a task for this one?

• Joke Around– Life is too short to be serious all the time.  Be goofy, be joyful.  Task: Make your partner laugh.

• Kiss – Like intimacy, kissing creates a physiological but also a psychological bond.  The act of kissing plays an important bonding factor and an act of courtship.  Task:  Passionately kiss your partner.

• Learn – Life is about learning and applying your newly found knowledge.  When it comes to relationships, learn what your loved one’s likes and dislikes are.  How do they like their coffee?  What is their favorite movie?  Show interest in your partner by learning about them.

• Maturity – Emotional maturity plays a key role in the success of a relationship.  This type of maturity requires each partner to be in control of their emotions instead of their emotions being in control of them.  In simple words: No Drama.

• Nurture – Every relationship needs caring and protection.  The fostering of the relationship only leads to a stronger bond.  Think of someone you know that has a great relationship, and notice how protective they are of their relationship.

• Openness – The ability to share and communicate openly and without reproach is the keystone of a healthy relationship.  When you engage in deceit, it’s just an irritant that will erode your relationship over time.

• Plan – Those that play together, stay together.  When was the last time the two of you worked on a project together?  Task: Together, Plan a project/vacation/activity for next month.

• Quality – How do you describe the quality of your interactions with your loved one?  Is it a positive one or a negative one?  Between work, kids and other responsibilities, time for the relationship becomes limited.  Now, if those interactions are negative, superficial or robotic, the quality will suffer.  Next time you are with your partner, be there. Disregard all the peripheral noise and give your partner your full attention.

• Resolve – learn to resolve your issues together.  Individuals that only care about winning arguments with their loved one all the time are being short sighted.  They may win now, but ultimately they will lose the relationship.  Remove the “you” and the “I” from your arguments and replace them with “we”.  Example: Change “You need to spend less money” to “We need to spend less money”.

• Share – A relationship is a journey of two individuals.  Learn to share your daily experiences with your partner. Share your opinions and struggles.  Learn to be more than just you.

• Trust – As I stated in one of my previous articles, Trust with a loved one is a relationship of reliance. It’s a one-time agreement between you and your loved one. In good relationships, their trust is seen as full disclosure.  There is no conditional trust between them. It is there, it is tangible and in a good relationship, it is protected.

• Understanding – Seeing things your way does not mean that is the right way.  There will be a time that you will need to be understanding and show empathy.  Understanding is the intellectual identification of feelings and thoughts.

• Vent – Say how you feel.  It is no use to keep it all inside.  We can all vent, and still be respectful and non-accusatory.  Venting can provide a cathartic experience.

• Wonder – Explore your surroundings, together.  Develop a sense of inquiry about the world.  Task: Visit a place that both of you have never been to.

• X (as in a variable) – Life is all about math.  You need to add the things that improve your relationship and subtract those things that do not contribute to the relationship. 

• Yearn – Great relationships yearn for time together.  They yearn for each other.  Maintain that strong desire by reminding yourself about the reason you got together in the first place.

• Zzzz – Sleep together.  There is nothing better than waking up every morning with the person that you love the most.

What other words do you think we should add?  Let see those creative minds!

1. 

   Justin | Mazzastick says:

   May 17, 2011 at 10:31 am

   Hi Roberto,
   Having quality relationships is important to our well-being. When our relationships are faltering, so are we.

   It would be great if schools and parents would teach children how to cultivate loving relationships.

   Sad fact about the 15% sexless marriages.
   Check Justin | Mazzastick latest post…Time Is Accelerating And We Must Change

   reply

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