What Is Love?

Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Perhaps you are still with that special

someone? For some, love is something that is different with each new partner. Some

relationships are more physical than others, while others are more emotional. But have you

ever tried to define, what is Love?

There’s a French proverb that says “Try to reason with love, and you will lose your reason”.

That is exactly what we want to do today. How can we define such feelings? From a

physiological point of view, emotions are chemical reactions in our body. These reactions, in

our case “Love”, are experienced by everyone. What changes is how we perceive it and how each

culture defines it. This is why it is so difficult to find a clear definition. Social

psychologists have tried to narrow the definition of love into two categories.

The first one is Companionate Love. This category refers to the intimacy and affection we feel

when we care deeply for a person. In this category there is no passion or arousal. The second

category is Passionate Love. This type of love is an intense longing we feel for a person.

These feelings are usually followed by physiological arousal and when reciprocated we feel

fulfillment and when it is not, we feel sadness and despair.

Robert Sternberg postulated the Triangular theory of love. The idea behind his theory is that

there are different kinds of love consisting of degrees of three components: intimacy, passion

and commitment. Intimacy refers to the closeness and bonding of your partner. Passion refers

to the arousal towards your partner. Commitment refers to the short-term and long-term

decision to stay with your partner.

As you can see on the image, different combinations of these three components produces

different types of love. We all have been in one type of Love or another. While there is no

triangle hierarchy, as we mature our commitments and needs mature as well. Our position in the

triangle may have shifted or stayed the same. The most successful relationships are the ones

that balance all three elements and achieve consummate love.

What are your thoughts on this theory? How do you define love?
Post your comments or thoughts.Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Perhaps you are still with that special

someone? For some, love is something that is different with each new partner. Some

relationships are more physical than others, while others are more emotional. But have you

ever tried to define, what is Love?

There’s a French proverb that says “Try to reason with love, and you will lose your reason”.

That is exactly what we want to do today. How can we define such feelings? From a

physiological point of view, emotions are chemical reactions in our body. These reactions, in

our case “Love”, are experienced by everyone. What changes is how we perceive it and how each

culture defines it. This is why it is so difficult to find a clear definition. Social

psychologists have tried to narrow the definition of love into two categories.

The first one is Companionate Love. This category refers to the intimacy and affection we feel

when we care deeply for a person. In this category there is no passion or arousal. The second

category is Passionate Love. This type of love is an intense longing we feel for a person.

These feelings are usually followed by physiological arousal and when reciprocated we feel

fulfillment and when it is not, we feel sadness and despair.

Robert Sternberg postulated the Triangular theory of love. The idea behind his theory is that

there are different kinds of love consisting of degrees of three components: intimacy, passion

and commitment. Intimacy refers to the closeness and bonding of your partner. Passion refers

to the arousal towards your partner. Commitment refers to the short-term and long-term

decision to stay with your partner.

As you can see on the image, different combinations of these three components produces

different types of love. We all have been in one type of Love or another. While there is no

triangle hierarchy, as we mature our commitments and needs mature as well. Our position in the

triangle may have shifted or stayed the same. The most successful relationships are the ones

that balance all three elements and achieve consummate love.

What are your thoughts on this theory? How do you define love?
Post your comments or thoughts.